No healthy veggies at the BBQ :(

Okay, maybe I should rename my title to: Every Friday I put myself out there in a desperate attempt for amazing compliments from all of you guys!  It isn’t what I really am trying to do, I write what I honestly feel and then I get these incredible comments and it totally lifts my spirits.  It makes me think, do I really need to count calories?  I just broke myself of this habit and I don’t know if I really want to get back into it.  I have enjoyed just eating healthy and listening to my body.  Hmmmm (smell the wood burning?) 

I really do find it unreal (and so flattering) all the comments you guys leave for me.  In my head, I keep thinking 137.6lbs is a lot.  I keep thinking I should be in the 120s.  But I don’t know why I think that.  I like having muscles…can I even weigh in the 120s and have these muscles that I have worked very hard for?  I don’t know.  I know I see lines down my stomach that are abs, I know I have lines on my shoulders, my back, my arms.  I think these lines are sexy.  I do have pretty big thighs (at least on my good leg) but that is both genetic and thanks to many years of running an insane amount.  My muffin top is negligible.  Is counting calories and obsessing really worth it? (wood is still burning).

Okay, the rest of this post I wrote before I wrote that above message, hence why you see calories in it.  I really am considering not counting them and just hope me and my body find ourselves a healthy balance.

Thanks again for all the comments.  This blog is my outlet and I want to remain honest and put down what my actual feelings and emotions are.  I am not really seeking compliments, I am just being honest.  I do appreciate all the nice statements and I really am trying to take them all to heart.  It just is tough to one day turn over this new leaf and decide I am no longer going to be destructive to my body through disorderly eating behaviors and excessive exercising.  It is a bit of a process and I think I am getting better.  But I do recognize that the calorie counting may be a step in the wrong direction for me mentally.

And I have digressed.  Onto the sweets and sweats!!!

Workout
I did sneak out to the gym for about a 30 minute workout. 

Exercise	Weights	Reps/Sets
Bench Pec Flys	2 15lb weights	8/3
Arnold’s	2 17.5lb weights	8/3
Deadlifts	2 17.5lb weights	10/3
Upright Rows	2 15lb weights	8/3
Pushups on the bosu		10/3
Plank Tricep Kick Backs	10lb weight	10/3 per side
Lat pull downs	60lb weight	10/2
Seated rows	60lb weights	8/2
Hammer Curls	2 17.5lb weights	8/3
Tricep Dips on machine	set to 40lbs	8/2

Calories burned: 100 (per self.com) being set to moderate

Then I snuck into the company picnic.  And was a bit horrified by the food.  I got a little bit of chicken BBQ, about 1/2T of sauce, 3 pickles and a piece of corn bread.  I was talked into trying the beef BBQ because “it was the best kind”.  They had potato salad, coleslaw, cookies, rolls, brownies and a whole sundae station set up, but I avoided those things.  I was really hoping for a green salad!

Here is a recreation of my plate.   I ate all the pickles (3), about 1/4 of the corn bread (47), a bit of the bbq (100–total guesstimation), and about 1tsp of the BBQ sauce (5).

(Sorry, I am busy today and all I had time for was Paint.  And well, part of me still loves paint more than any other graphics program.  So basic…no need for bells and whistles, just cut and paste.)

It wasn’t that great and now I have BBQ burps.  Yes, I know, TMI.

To try and get some veggies into my diet, I luckily had brought this from home:

and I bought this at the cafe in my building.

I mixed half of the apple juice (100 cals) with the whole packet (30) calories.  This Green Superfood is so good.  They had taste out at Whole Foods one day and I was hooked.  Says it supports body alkalinity, boosts energy & immune system, and is gluten-free and vegan.  It is basically a blend of a bunch of grasses (wheat, barley, alfalfa, spinach, broccoli,etc.), some antioxidants (acai, maca, carrot, beet, raspberry, rose hips, pineapple, green tea, etc.) has some flax seed and apple fiber mixed in and lastly some digestive enzymes and active culture/probiotic blend.  And the fact it taste good is even better!!

Okay, got to get to work on a project that is due by COB.  We will see if I have my afternoon snack.  I don’t know how all this food will sit with me and if I will get hungry or not.  I am planning on heading back to the gym after work to go swim today.  And I will go, no bailing out like Tuesday.  I actually feel a TON better today after lifting than I did Tuesday, so I don’t think it should be a problem (and I drank some diet coke at the picnic.)

Remaining cals for today: 725

Repeat of Last Friday

Like I said yesterday, this morning was the weekly weigh-in.  It didn’t go so hot.  137.6.  That means I am up a pound since last week and 1.6 pounds in two weeks.  This isn’t good.  I need to figure out a (healthy) way to stop this.  I feel like I am eating healthy, working out, etc, and that I shouldn’t be gaining weight, but obviously my body feels otherwise.  I do feel pretty good and I think my body looks decent but 137.6 does seem high to me.  And the fact that it just keeps going up is the major issue.  I need to be vigilant now instead of before it is too late.  I think I am going to go back to counting calories.  It just seems like the best thing to do.

I figured I would go get some base numbers and work from there. 

(I got this calculator from the Mayo Clinic’s website)

I am normal, but I feel like I am more on the high end.  I would like to be closer to 20.

(Also from the Mayo Clinic.  I set myself to Active, which on their website means at least 30 minutes of moderate activity most days of the week.)

Following the standard formula that if you eliminate 500 calories per day, that you should lose 1 lb a week, that means I should be aiming for roughly 1500-1600 calories a day.

The problem in the past is that I either become obsessed with the exact number and feel very guilty if I go over (even by like 15 calories) or I keep cutting back too low from 1500-1600.  I would like to avoid doing either and I would like to avoid getting obsessed or controlled by this.  I am going to start weighing and measuring out my food, just in case my measurements have gotten a little bigger over time.  I was hoping that simply eating healthy, working out and trying to listen to my body would work well, but seeing a gain two weeks in a row is scaring me and I don’t want it to continue (especially seeing I go on vacation in a week!)

On to the food!

I’ll start with my evening snack last night.  After doing a TON of abs and then doing a little photo shoot for Every Gym’s Nightmare’s/Grounded Fitness competition for kettlebells, I was exhausted. (and I didn’t win, but I lost to Chandra who added a beer to her one armed push-up, so I happily step aside for her victory!)

Evening Snack

I used up the rest of my non-fat greek yogurt…maybe 1/4 cup.  Then I added some chocolate chips and some Kashi Go Lean. I topped with a drizzle of honey. I also threw in a few frosted mini wheats for good measure.

hmmm, maybe I should consider getting rid of my late night snack.  We will see.

Breakfast (390 cals)
I did switch it up a bit today.  I stole another idea, this time from Eating Bender.  I sprayed a bowl with some non-stick spray and poured in 1/4 cup of liquid egg whites (30 cals) and put in half a light laughing cow wedge (17.5 cals) and microwaved on high for 1:10.  I LOVED this combination.  I added a little salt and pepper on top.  It was just gooey and comforting!

I also had my normal oats, but I tried to switch these up again too.  I decided I wanted them un-microwaved.  I took 1/2 cup of oats (150) and mixed in 1T of flax seed (40), some cinnamon, blueberries (15), and raisins (17).  Then I poured 4 ounces of light soy milk on top (40).  Then I finished up the rest of my Kashi Go Lean Crunch–little over a quarter cup (50) so that these oats would have a nice crunch to them.  (I did weigh everything out.)

I actually really love these oats dry and simply with a little milk.  Definitely changes up the texture and taste.

Lastly, I had my standard GFI sugar-free coffee (30).

AM Snack (100 cals)
I am planning on sneaking over to the gym for a quick lifting session before this employee picnic.  I grabbed some more fresh edamame to snack on this morning because this seems to hold me over.  And it ensures I get some veggie/protein no matter what they serve at this BBQ. 

Remaining cals for today: 1010.

 

No matter what, it is FRIDAY!!!  And I am staying home this weekend, which THRILLS me!  I have a few errands around the house that I need to do (like starting to box up our entire house to move!) and a Target run to start stocking up on SPF for the Dominican Republic.  Oh yes, and we have tickets to go see the Dark Knight tomorrow night!!!  Aim of the weekend: eat healthy, not too much booze, and don’t spend too much money.  Oh yeah, that is my aim everyday.