(This entry crossposted between Sweets&Sweats and Happiness Awaits)
I can’t ask for more than that…except for maybe it to be 5 o’clock already. But a girl can’t have everything now can she? Last night, Justin and I took full advantage of the sunshine. It rained on the drive home and then miraculously the sun came out around 6:30. We headed to the golf course to hit balls.
SUN!!! FINALLY!!
When we got there, they told us that the driving range was closed. I don’t think either of us wanted to abandon the chance to enjoy the weather, so we decided to spend the money to play a round of nine holes. Justin was a bit embarrassed because he only had jeans, not khakis to hit the links. But they let us play anyway.
It was a semi-lake out on the course
I played pretty well. And the course was gorgeous and empty (except for some geese and deer)
We only got 5 holes in and the last hole I was definitely beginning to fall apart. But we got to witness a gorgeous sunset out there.
All in all a great night.
I should admit that I had a bad day yesterday self esteem-wise. I just felt down on myself. I felt that I looked huge and I was worried that all my hard work in the gym is being offset by my eating habits. What if I am sabotaging all my hard work with my eating habits? I think I’m eating well but what if I’m eating too much? I just don’t trust myself. What if I don’t have the intuition that I think I do. I just want my body to find the weight it is happy at with the level of activity I do and the food I eat. I want to be fit, muscular and tone. I don’t want any flab or looseness on me. And I get frustrated and angry when I see any. I even feel like my face has gotten chubby. How is this possible?
I am just down on myself and frustrated and worried that my process of eating healthy and only when I’m hungry along with being as active as possible just isn’t working…that I’m doing something wrong.
Today–I am going to go for a run outside over lunch. It better still be sunny! I did my lifting yesterday and BOY AM I SORE! Especially my lower back and my traps/shoulders. My abs have a little ache in them too. This workout wasn’t as difficult as some of the others but I still am very sore.
Oh and yesterday’s breakfast: I don’t know…it kept me full for 4+ hours yesterday morning, so the same as my oats. But I just never felt satisfied all day yesterday. I don’t know if it was just my body was off or what. I think it was because I didn’t get my obligatory oats in the morning. Which meant I knew I had to have oats today!
No idea what our plans are tonight but tomorrow night we are going camping with a group of friends to celebrate a good friend’s 30th birthday. Should be fun as long as it stays dry!
Smile, it’s friday.
oh no! please don’t let negative thoughts get the best of you – it happens to me alll the time, almost everyday actually! I think it just takes some time to fully and completely trust yourself and yourbody.
Sweet&Fit: Thank you. It is so bizarre how quickly and powerfully negative thoughts can take over and competely alter your mental state. A good run luckily kicked it out of me. I still am not to the point that I trust my body (and myself) but I keep hoping every day that I fight through those feelings and I don’t succumb to them, that I get a little bit stronger.